My Happy Place

Don’t you wish you had some place where you could just be yourself. Be alone perhaps? All the expectations and unrealistic standards set for you choking you up and you know no place to go. A happy place?
I choose myself to be my happy place. A place where I can hideaway when I feel like my surroundings are overshadowing me. The safe house where I can curl up into a ball when I feel intimidated by the happenings of the world.
I lay in bed, hands around myself, reminiscing the moments that made me feel happy. The moments that gave me strength and the confidence to carry on when life seemed to be at it’s low. I let out a tear, a sign of relief to say the least and let a heavy weight off of my chest.
Being my own happy place let’s me be the only one who could possibly do any harm to myself. Making a home out of my thoughts and opinions allows me to dwell on them longer.
But I make sure that these thoughts do more good to me than harm. These thoughts put my life into perspective and let me look at myself from an ariel view. I put myself in the shoes of my tormentors, the shoes of the ones who pass judgement. And to me it all seems fine. I seem like any other girl.
I may not be perfect. I may not be sure of myself and I may think a hundred times before breaking down the walls I have built for myself, but I don’t see why I am worthy enough to be the centre of someone’s conversations. When I look at myself I see nothing more than a young girl with very minimum expectations and hopes for myself. I see tomorrow as my future and the rest as a mystery.
But then again we are victims of a daunting society who have expectations longer than my bucket list and parents with words of praise for kids who do not seem to think anything of themselves.
It is days like these, when the society decides to confront me with the truth of life that I want to curl up into a ball. Not be someone’s trophy and not be living proof of something someone wanted but couldn’t do for themselves. It is days like these that I choose to resort to my happy place.
A tight hug and the reassurance that everything will get better. 

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